Being with all of the feels.
My own experience
Lost in thought, heady, escalating into fear. Mind trapped, looping over and over. Body grasping, tightening, protecting, overwhelmed, sense of dread, taking over. Numbing. Floating in and out of reality
Like a small child holding on tightly amongst the unknown, trying desperately to attach to a sense of safety, the familiar. A loving soothing caregiver
It was a deep bodily experience of fear, gut clinching, waves of nausea, jaw locking, throat tightening, yet familiar, some place I’d been before
This is how I woke a few days ago, after having felt relatively grounded and calm the past week during the unfolding of Covid-19 here in New Zealand.
I have a very strong Fear memory embedded in my being, infused with heightened sensory awareness. This body, always at the ready to fight, flight or freeze
As many times before, I chose to stay with fear, with discomfort, with not knowing, with grief. The edges softened some. Sinking into a deeper knowing this to shall pass. Much like the current chaotic nature of our world
Throughout the rest of the day I gently tending to what I needed in each moment, while hubby took care of the children
Simple practices I draw on to settle my nervous system were in no particular order:
Drinking tea, warm salt bath, walked the dog, massaging oil into my skin, breath practice using scent, snuggling with a hot water bottle, picking flowers, resting on the bed, read, tennis ball rolling
I invite you to find a small collection of rituals you can resource yourself with through these challenging times. They might look quite different from mine. Choosing to practice these rituals daily and make them a non negotiable will bring you much comfort and ease if even for a moment. I know this to be true
Being human is hard sometimes. Instead of shaming or diminishing your experience, gently take your hand in a way you would a loved one and offer up the gift of deep love and compassion. With Love Nicki x
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Practice: Sensing Nature. What little piece of nature can you get close up and personal with today?
Bringing your full attention to this practice. Noticing the colours, textures, shapes, patterns, smells.